Nokia
by DarkScales
Summary: An akuma with invincible armor forces Ladybug and Chat Noir to get... creative. Featuring power tools, a bathroom sink, and an industrial oven. Freaking Nokias.


**Written based off of the Nokia post from imagine-miraculousladybug on Tumblr. Hope you enjoy, and Merry Christmas! Happy holidays! ^.^**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Miraculous Ladybug, however much I wish I did.**

* * *

" _Cataclysm!_ "

Chat Noir brought his hand down, dark energy bubbling about his claws. A ringing screech of metal on metal resounded out, pavement crumbling to dust beneath the impact.

Ladybug threw up a hand to shield her eyes, taking a few steps back.

"Did it work?" she asked hopefully as the dust cleared. "Chat?"

The other teen stood over the phone, one claw on his ring blinking out with a quiet _beep._ Expression dumbfounded, he shook his head and leaned over to pick it up. The phone's screen was demolished and it was covered in dust, but otherwise it was barely scratched. Near-perfect condition.

"I don't get it," Chat said blankly as he turned it over to squint at it from every angle. "Cataclysm is supposed to be able to destroy anything!"

Ladybug groaned in exasperation. "Except, apparently, for stupid Nokia phones," she muttered. A spot flashed on her earrings, a warning that both of them were running out of time. She had already used Lucky Charm to defeat the possessed human, who was still tied to a pole nearby. Despite the armor they _still_ couldn't penetrate, they'd managed to knock him unconscious while they figured out how to destroy his akuma-containing phone.

Chat frowned, jaw clenching as he tried to pry the device apart. Maybe, he thought, if they could just get the casing open, then the internal wiring couldn't be _that_ difficult to tear out…

Unfortunately, his bad luck was kicking in, and the case refused to budge. Chat hissed in frustration. _Nothing_ they tried had worked. Ladybug didn't have the time or the power for another Lucky Charm, Cataclysm had been ineffective, and somehow Chat doubted that hitting it with his staff would be very productive. It wasn't like they had tons of other tools at their disposal…

Wait. Maybe they did.

Twin beeps sounded, and the pair of them shared a look before ducking into a nearby alleyway. Chat hung back a moment, instructing the police who were surrounding the area to guard Nokia until the akuma was purified. He barely made it to cover before his transformation wore off, Plagg flying out of the ring with a shaky wobble.

"Sheesh, I _hate_ those invincible-armor types!" Plagg complained. Adrien handed him a wedge of cheese, frowning.

"Yeah, what's with that? Isn't Cataclysm supposed to destroy anything?" Adrien asked. "I don't know about you, but that phone sure didn't look destroyed to me."

Plagg stopped for a moment, stiffening. "Where _is_ the phone? You don't have it, do you?"

"Don't worry; I've got it," Marinette interjected as she approached from the other end of the alley. Tikki perched on her shoulder, devouring a cookie. The phone dangled from one hand, mocking them with how intact it still was.

Adrien glared at it. Somehow, they were going to figure out how to break it and it would be _satisfying._

Marinette frowned slightly, then learned up and tapped him lightly on the nose.

"You're growling again," she told him. "Relax. We'll figure something out."

Adrien flushed with embarrassment. Oops.

"How, though?" he questioned. "Cataclysm didn't work. Cataclysm's _never_ failed to destroy something before." Adrien tried not to sound like he was whining, but he couldn't deny that he was rather put out. He was used to Cataclysm being an end-all, a turn-the-problem-into-rubble sort of attack. Unless he missed, which was rare, it hadn't let him down yet.

"Well, my dad has a set of power tools in the garage, and industrial ovens _do_ get pretty hot…" Marinette mused.

Adrien's eyes lit up. He grinned, appearing, for the moment, like Chat when he was in costume.

"My Lady," he said, "I like the way you think."

* * *

 _Tap. Tap. Tap._ _ **SMASH.**_ _Tap. Tap. Tap._ _ **SMASH.**_ _Tap. Tap. Tap._ _ **SMASH.**_

 _...Thunk._

"This isn't working," Marinette sighed. She nudged the hammer with a resigned air. Honestly, neither of them had really expected it to. It had been a long shot to begin with, but they figured they would try anyways.

"Time for the power tools, then?" Adrien suggested. He glanced over at the open toolkit, ruefully adding, "I don't actually know how to use any of them, though."

Marinette winced. "Ah… I only know how the use the little things. Not anything big like the power drill, which is probably what we need," she admitted. "I mean, we _could_ ask my dad, but then he'll want to know why."

Adrien hummed, thoughtful. What other ways did they have at their disposal...?

"Wait," he said as an idea hit him, "doesn't water usually short out electronics? I mean, maybe the phone doesn't need to be _physically_ broken to get the akuma out. It might just need to be broken in some way."

As one, both turned to look at Tikki, who sat beside Plagg on the edge of the toolbox. She blinked at them, head tilted slightly as she thought.

"Maybe," she allowed after a moment. "Well, it can't hurt to try, at least."

"C'mon, then," Marinette said to Adrien. "Let's go try dropping it in the sink or something."

* * *

Image distorted beneath an inch of water, the Nokia released a thin stream of tiny bubbles. Adrien and Marinette peered down at it, waiting for any sort of sign that it was no longer functional.

"Was that a spark?" Marinette asked hopefully, poking at it with an unopened disposable toothbrush package. Another bubble drifted upwards, briefly expanding in a half-dome on the water's surface before popping.

Adrien shrugged. "Maybe?" He squinted at it, rather dubious. "There's no akuma coming out, though…"

"Wait, you don't think they can _drown,_ can they?" Marinette realized, vaguely horrified.

Adrien winced. "Oh, shoot. I hope not-"

The bathroom door, which they'd neglected to fully close, creaked open.

"Marinette?" Sabine poked her head in, glancing curiously at the scene. "Oh, Adrien. I didn't realize you were here? What are you two doing? And, Marinette, why was your father's toolkit out?"

Neither of them had heard her approach, having been too absorbed in their quest to short out the phone. Both teens spun around, yelping in shock.

Marinette flailed, attempting to block the sink from view. She ended up accidentally hitting Adrien in the face, making him stumble back and almost trip over a stepstool before he grabbed the towel rack for balance.

"Mom!" Marinette squeaked. "I- um- I didn't see you there!"

Adrien bit back a curse, hand accidentally slipping to pull the towel halfway off the rack. Luckily, he managed to quickly straighten it up as he flashed a nervous grin and waved.

Marinette's mother raised a brow. "Clearly not," she said, amused. She stepped fully into the bathroom and leaned around her daughter to look into the sink. "What are you two doing with that phone?"

"It's, um, a science experiment!" Adrien blurted out when Marinette fumbled for an answer. "We're testing the durability and insulation of, uh, this particular design. And the materials. Trying to figure out why it's so much stronger than other models." Belatedly, he added, "It's for, um, chemistry."

"...Sure." Sabine appeared dubious, but seemed to accept it. "Well, good luck with that. Try not to break anything important."

Adrien breathed an inaudible sigh of relief. "That was close," he muttered as she left. "Um. Do you think she bought it?"

"Hopefully." Marinette was just as relieved as him, still rooted to the spot in front of the sink. After a moment, she broke away and turned to frown back at the phone. It had yet to do anything remotely close to short out, giving the pair a growing sense of disappointment.

"...Power tools next?" Adrien suggested as Marinette drained the sink before fishing out the phone with a pair of rubber-tipped tongs. Just in case, since they weren't going to take any chances. "I know you said you didn't know how to use them, but we do have the internet. Maybe we could, I don't know, drill through the casing or something?"

* * *

They could not, in fact, drill through the casing. Despite attempting it multiple times, with mounting degrees of frustration. In the end, all they managed to do was accidentally mangle the drill bit beyond all repair. Nothing else worked, either. The circular saw was… ineffective, to put it nicely. The nail gun wasn't much better, and after that they spent twenty minutes trying to hunt down all the scattered nails.

Before they left to try out their last option, Adrien put in an emergency call to the nearest hardware store. Hopefully, if the damaged tools were replaced and/or upgraded, his girlfriend's father wouldn't kill him…

* * *

"I can't believe we had to throw it in an industrial oven _on the highest setting_ to destroy the stupid thing," Marinette groused after the akuma was _finally_ purified. "The _highest setting!_ Over three hundred degrees! That was ridiculous!"

"I'm still annoyed Cataclysm didn't work on it," Adrien grumbled. "Thanks a lot, Plagg."

The kwami looked up from his cheese, eyes wide and innocent. "What? Even I can only do so much, y'know."

Tikki sighed, leaned over, and smacked him lightly across the head. "You liar," she said. "You did that on purpose. Cataclysm isn't usually that weak."

Adrien narrowed his eyes. Wait, _what?_

Plagg shrank away, looking sheepish. "C'mon, Tikki!" he protested. "You gotta admit, it was pretty funny! I mean, it's always a laugh to watch them try and crack those invincible armor types. Don't tell me you didn't think so too! Besides, not like you helped them either."

Marinette frowned. She had been under the impression that Lucky Charm would have been only as effective as Cataclysm had been- that was to say, hardly at all.

It was impossible to tell if Tikki blushed because of her naturally red coloration, but she looked away and giggled nervously. And, really, that was all the confirmation they needed.

"Wait," Adrien said, a hairsbreadth away from a growl. "You let us do all that… because you thought it was _funny?_ "

"Kind of," Tikki admitted. "Though, in our defense, we do this with _every_ Ladybug and Chat Noir. It's kind of a tradition."

"Tradition?" Marinette blinked. "Hold on; this has happened to previous Ladybugs and Chat Noirs? They've had to fight akuma with invincible armor, like this Nokia guy?"

"Yup!" Tikki confirmed. "To be honest, Hawk Moth only has so much imagination. Over the years, we've noticed that the akuma all tend to be along similar lines. People's reasons for their hurt and anger don't often change, after all. Besides," she giggled, "it really _was_ funny watching you two try and figure out how to destroy this one."

...Well, fair enough. The two humans did have to concede that point.

"This isn't going to happen again, though, is it?" Marinette asked. "I mean, sure, maybe it was funny this time, but I feel like just throwing stuff into an industrial oven and hoping that nothing exploded maybe wasn't the safest choice."

"Don't worry," the kwami chorused. "It won't!"

"Probably," Plagg added under his breath.

Tikki swatted one of his ears. " _Plagg!_ "

Adrien and Marinette sighed, rolled their eyes, and grinned at each other.

"Well," Adrien said, "I gotta admit, that definitely beat doing homework. Um. Your dad will forgive me for the drill bit, right?"

"Oh, definitely. And relax; chances are he won't even notice," Marinette laughed. "He uses that kit so rarely he probably doesn't even remember what it looks like. We're fine."

* * *

Weeks later, Tom stared at the toolkit that he'd just pulled out of storage after months of disuse. Or, at least, he thought it was months. For some reason, though, it didn't seem quite the same as he remembered…

"Huh," he muttered to himself, reaching back through his memories. "Was the case always this shade of bright orange?"


End file.
